Cactus Puns
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Vegetable Puns
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Hair Puns
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Music Puns
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Anti Jokes
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide.
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
Snake Puns
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Good Morning Quotes
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
— Uknown
Camel Puns
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
Theater Puns
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
River Puns
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Italy Puns
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
Hard Drive Puns
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Flamingo Puns
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Meat Puns
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Literary Pick Up Lines
We could make such a beautiful library together.
You must be a library book because I can’t stop checking you out.
Boat Puns
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
April Fools Jokes
What's the worst part about April Fools?
Jokes without punchlines.
Zombie Puns
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Easter Pick Up Lines
My foot isn't the only part of me that's lucky!
Medical Pick Up Lines
What’s the best part of the cell, next to the cytoplasm? The nucle-US.
Funny Family Quotes
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Til death do us part and then some, dear.
History Pick Up Lines
I’m not part of the Prohibition Movement. You can speakeasy to me.
Driving Quotes
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
Language Pick Up Lines
It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
Garden Quotes
“Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.”
— Anonymous
Funny Parenting Quotes
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." - End Asner
One Liners and Short Jokes
What part of the body do you only see during Christmas? mistletoe.
Couch Puns
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
One Liners for Kids
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Apple Puns
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
Funny Health Quotes
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
Fish Puns
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Halloween Puns
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
Frankenstein Puns
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Salad Puns
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Funny Break Up Lines
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Cheesy Pick Up Lines
I'm a maintenance engineer and I'd love to tinker with your parts.
Christian Pick Up Lines
I would part the Red Sea for you.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Can I borrow your library card? Cause I’m checking you out.
Penguin Puns
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Skeleton Puns
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Donut Puns
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin."
- Anchorman 2 (2013)
Funny Self-love Quotes
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
Tiger Puns
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Funny Love Quotes
"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
Thanksgiving Puns
What is a mathematician's favorite part of a big Thanksgiving feast?
Pumpkin pi.
Phone Number Pick Up Lines
Are you in the Library catalog? I'd love to get you're number.
Milk Puns
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Clever Jokes
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
